What is Mattering

“Mattering” is the general belief that you are important to others. “Anti-mattering” is the feeling that you just don’t matter at all.

Zach Mercurio is a researcher, author, and speaker who specializes in purposeful leadership. His upcoming book is entitled, “The Power of Mattering.”

Zach cites some alarming statistics about “anti-mattering.”

• 60% of people report feeling “lonely.”
• 47% say they feel “forgotten.”
• 30% say they feel “invisible” at work.
• When 66,000 students (6th-12th grade) were asked, “Do you think anyone would notice if you were absent?” – over half said, “No.”

Our self-concept is largely shaped by “reflected appraisals”… the feedback we get from others that helps us understand who we are.

Reflected Appraisals

Positive reflected appraisals help us develop two essential self-beliefs that drive our behavior: the belief that we are worthy (self-esteem) and capable (self-efficacy).

From the very beginning, a parent’s most important job is to help their child believe that they matter by being seen, heard, and valued. And we don’t stop needing and wanting that positive reinforcement as we grow older.

One simple and powerful way to cultivate your own sense of mattering is to help the people around you believe that they matter. You can flourish by helping someone else to flourish!

People Matter

Think back to a moment when someone made you feel like you truly mattered. What did they say or do? How did it impact you?

Think about the next interaction you will have. What can you do to make that person feel seen, heard, and valued? What can you notice, appreciate, or ask about?

As we continue our journey of “Flourishing Together,” practice noticing people. Make eye contact. Smile. Greet them. Affirm their contribution. Remind them that they’re needed. Let them know they matter!