The Five Love Languages


What are the five love languages? 

The Five Love Languages were developed by a minister, author, and speaker Gary Chapman. They’re a tool for helping people understand themselves in relationships and better connect with their spouses, friends, and children. You can take a quiz to learn what your love language is, and you can read below about how these dynamics play out in relationships. 


Words of Affirmation 

People whose love language is words of affirmation will find themselves showing love by expressing praise, giving compliments, and showing appreciation through their words. People with this love language enjoy receiving kind notes, uplifting text messages, and kind words. Think you know someone whose love language is words of affirmation? Send them an encouraging text or e-mail telling them one thing you appreciate about them. 


Quality Time 

People who are fluent in quality time love when you give them your undivided attention and spend time together interacting in meaningful ways. Got a quality time person in your life? When you’re with them, put down your phone when you’re in a conversation with them (maybe that’s just good advice in general though). Do an activity together like going on a walk, playing a board game, or cooking together. 


Physical Touch 

People who love physical touch want to be touched! Hug this person, rub their back, or sit close to them. Physical touch is an important way for people to demonstrate their love for one another, and there are appropriate expressions for couples and friends.  


Acts of Service  

If you know someone who feels loved when they’re receiving acts of service, help them out! Unload or load the dishwasher, take on a task that they’ve been meaning to get to and do it for them without complaining or gloating. Run errands for them. Put gas in their car just because. There’s a good chance that the people who tend to do this for you love to receive acts of service too. 



Some people show their love through giving, and feel loved when someone gives them a meaningful gift. Gift-giving doesn’t have to be expensive to show love – it just has to be thoughtful! It’s not the price tag that makes this person feel loved, it’s the intentionality in choosing the gift. 


While love languages have application in all sorts of relationships, people tend to talk a lot about it in marriage. If you’re looking to strengthen your marriage, or are about to get married, we’d love to invite you to join a class all about strengthening marriage called The Knot, starting August 11th! It meets at 9:45 on Sunday mornings. We’d love to see you there. 

Luke Stehr

Luke Stehr

Christ-follower. Husband. Dad. Community Engagement Coordinator.

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